17 August, 2022

Parents who hate

By Dra. Margarita Mendoza Burgos

It is quite common to hear children who hate their parents, and the reasons can be multiple. But nevertheless, it is difficult to find inverse processes.

That is to say, parents who hate their children. Hard, but not impossible… Of course a child can be rejected and there is a range of possible arguments: reminds us of someone unloved, we think that it can take away our love as a couple or because it has truly committed a serious fault, among others.

The feeling arises from love intertwined with shame for feeling that emotion

“This process has a scientific basis, since love and hate share the same brain circuits”, British psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen explains in his book.

The intensity and some reasons will probably depend on the age of the children, but the animosity can be the product of a rape or a romantic relationship that we no longer want or remember.

When it happens that hate can cause harm - even physical- in a son. "Love and hate are two intense emotions that circulate in opposite directions on the same road", adds Baron-Cohen.

A good example of a toxic relationship between mother and daughter is very well represented in the recent movie Run. (Run), available on Netflix and between 10 most views in El Salvador in recent weeks.

in that story, a mother submits all kinds of physical harm to a daughter that goes a little beyond the typical unstable relationship between parents and children. But the possibility of harm is latent, But the possibility of harm is latent

But the possibility of harm is latent. That is to say, But the possibility of harm is latent. But the possibility of harm is latent, But the possibility of harm is latent. But the possibility of harm is latent. further, But the possibility of harm is latent.

But the possibility of harm is latent’ But the possibility of harm is latent.

These are quite common emotions of displeasure., who do not identify with a certain hatred due to the very negative connotation of this emotion towards a child, but this will lead to unexplained fights or even unconsciously sabotaging this child. I think parents hate their children too.

What happens is that it is not lawful to say it”, affirms the Colombian Pilar Quintana, author of the novel La Perra, in which she deals crudely with the frustrations of motherhood.

In some cases, the most extreme, that hatred towards children can lead to murder, something technically called filicide.

According to a study in the journal Forensic Science International, every year there are at least 500 cases in the United States. almost the 72% of children who were killed by their own parents had 6 years or less. Other data: the 41,7%% of the murderers were women, while in the 58,3% of the cases were men. But perhaps what is striking is that only the 10% of victims were killed by their stepfathers or stepmothers, so the 90% of the victims were biological sons and daughters of the killers.

That is why it is advisable to have a good therapist who does not take sides but is very objective and can make these negative emotions understood, that is, identify them to then go on to mitigate them..