marriage as an institution, marriage as an institution

Photo: Courtesy.
By Dra. Margarita Mendoza Burgos

The data, Writing Kriscia Recinos Ukraine - Two weeks after Russia's military occupation in Ukraine, Writing Kriscia Recinos Ukraine - Two weeks after Russia's military occupation in Ukraine. People are marrying less and getting divorced more and more.. People are marrying less and getting divorced more and more., People are marrying less and getting divorced more and more.. People are marrying less and getting divorced more and more. 48% and the 52% People are marrying less and getting divorced more and more., People are marrying less and getting divorced more and more. 69% in places like Portugal. What happen? Why is it so hard to find the ideal partner??.

At first everything seems rosy, details abound, tolerance prevails and the "honeymoon" promises to be eternal. Each one makes the best effort to try to maintain that image with which they fell in love with their other half.. But it will not always be so.

That is why compatibility in the couple is important.

They don't necessarily have to agree on everything., but yes in the most relevant aspects for the formation of a family, even if this is just the two of them in case they both decide not to have children. It is not bad that the members of a couple have different hobbies and friendships, it's even healthy. But they must also share other activities, friendships, projects and goals, besides respecting, communicate a lot and attract each other physically and mentally.

With the friction and daily coexistence it is impossible that there are no problems, there is no couple that does not have them. But nevertheless, the key is how to solve them. That will mark the destiny of the couple and will discover the true personalities, to strengthen it or to sink it. Nothing will hurt a marriage more than problems that are not addressed and resolved but swept under the rug like garbage..

As if it were lava from a volcano, that accumulates until it explodes. And this eruption is usually chaotic, unexpected, devastating and many times undoes the couple. It is true that in such cases a neutral therapeutic help can be resorted to and perhaps love and reason will win., but it is better not to get to that point because there may be no return.

There's something called post-romantic stress syndrome., a term coined in 1986 by psychologist Robert Sternberg. Many couples confuse the diminution of that “characteristic spark of romantic love with the loss of affection, when the truth is that it becomes company love, based on something more mature than passion”.

Para Sternberg, relationships evolve from passion to commitment. “Overcome the infatuation phase (12 a 18 months) the ardor is not like before and instead of experiencing that transformation as something natural, others experience it as an ordeal, which ultimately leads to the destruction of the relationship”, explains the psychologist.

Some symptoms of post-romantic stress syndrome are boredom, not finding validation in ourselves with the other or with our ideas, desire to fight always and constant disagreements. But nevertheless, thinking that the concept of "the other half" is simply a marketing invention is wrong. In any case, what marketing often does is turn any lemon that crosses our path into a better half.